This week has been very insightful for me as I facilitated many clients. I kept hearing how life is not where they want it to be, how they should be doing more or how they haven’t achieved what they should have by now. The funny thing is that no matter how much they have achieved or done, the critical voice in their head keeps reminding them how other people are more ‘successful’, ‘sorted’ and ‘happy’, where they are still ‘struggling’.
Feelings of insecurity and not good enough creep up as they compare other people’s lives with their own. This makes me wonder how much of their daily actions are dictated by this ‘comparison’. Because “John is doing this and he is successful so I must do the same” is the thought behind the action. I can’t help but think how much we miss out on our lives or fail to enjoy our present journey because we are busy trying to match our lives with others. It seems that most people are carrying an invisible checklist that is based on comparison and only when they are ‘as good as John’, ‘as beautiful as Laura’ or ‘ as enlightened as Buddha’, will it be worth being ‘happy’. Anything less than that is unacceptable. Each time we fail to meet that check list, we feel ‘not good enough’ which leaves us spiralling down in judgement.
It’s an illusion that we all have bought into without even questioning where this feeling is coming from...
From the very start, society has programmed us to compare ourselves with the people around us. Ever since we were young, we are told by our parents how our brothers or sisters are better than us because they achieved a desired goal. School further programs us by ranking us in positions of first, second, third and so on. No matter where you go you can’t escape the comparison. So either you’re better than someone or you’re less than someone.
This comparison kills our own spirit on a daily basis. You may think that comparing has nothing to do with our own spirit.
Let me explain this through an exercise.
Take a moment to think about your actions during the day. Now, think about the thought of why you made that decision in the first place. Was there a voice that said, “you should do this” or “you must work today”. All these statements are a result of judgement on your own actions and behaviours.
Instead take a moment before taking action and asking yourself “is this in alignment with who I am?”
or “will this action make me a better version of me?”
We get pulled into the race of comparison and kill our own spirit whilst trying to ‘win’.
The truth is that we will never win this race because there will always be someone out there who will be better, prettier or smarter than you. You need to start making peace with who and where you are in order to start living your own journey.
When I started out as a healer, after every session, I used to find myself going over the conversation with the clients and thinking, “I could have said that” or “I should have used so and so’s technique, they do it better”. Once I started my own Awakening journey, uncovering who I truly was it dawned on me how much of my time was being wasted on comparing myself with ‘other’ healers. It was then I came up with one of the the principles of Awakening, “Work On You”. I started to focus on myself instead of looking at what was happening in the world around me, I went inside and realised that we always make the right decision at the right time with the information that we have. With this new awareness instead of comparing myself to other people and judging myself, I decided to use prayer as a way of addressing comparison. From then onwards, I started to use the following prayer everyday: “Whoever I meet for a minute, for an hour, I make a difference in their lives and leave them better than I found them”. I invite you to take on this prayer too.
Let us stop comparing ourselves to other people, that is a sure fast way of killing our own spirit.
Your journey is just as valid, valuable and precious. Start honouring yourself today by taking on these suggestion and witness how things start to unfold. No more negative mental chatter but rather inspired action taking.
This little prayer has saved my spirit and dissolved all my judgement of myself in comparison to others. I pray that it does the same for you.
Until we connect again,
Keep allowing miracles,
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Having observed 80,000 behavioural case studies of men and women from all walks of life overcoming both collective and personal challenges in areas relating to wellbeing, career development and relationships. Sidra shares her insights and concepts which you are at liberty to test and comment below on your findings.
Your comments and application of the tips and exercises shared in these articles help us further cultivate our research. Our intention is to provide you with conscious creative tools on your awakening journey.
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